6 Tips to Keeping Conscious Relationships While Parenting
Connection in Relationship
Being a parent is a beautiful and rewarding experience, but it can also put a strain on your relationship. As moms in the age range of 25-35, we face unique challenges in balancing our roles as partners and parents. While I'm no relationship expert, I've been in a conscious relationship for 11 years, navigating the ups and downs that come with evolving from my 20s to my 30s, raising four beautiful children, and going through individual mental health journeys. Through these experiences, I've learned valuable lessons about connection and re-centering. In this blog post, I'll share some tips that can help you maintain a strong and loving bond with your partner amidst the demands of parenting.
Love Languages
Understanding each other's love languages is crucial for nurturing connection. Take a love language quiz together to identify your primary love languages. This will provide insight into how you and your partner prefer to give and receive love. Once you have this knowledge, share specific moments when you felt seen and loved in your relationship. By communicating these experiences, you can create a deeper understanding of each other's needs and strengthen your connection.
Explore Attachment Styles:
Our attachment styles significantly influence the way we relate to our partners. Take the time to learn about different attachment scales/styles and discuss where you and your partner land on this spectrum. This conversation can foster empathy, as you gain insight into each other's emotional needs and fears. Understanding your attachment styles allows you to navigate challenges with greater compassion and find ways to support each other.
Engage with Relationship Books:
Books can be powerful tools for self-reflection and growth as a couple. Find a relationship book that resonates with you and your partner, and make a commitment to read or listen to it together. Sharing insights and discussing the content can help you gain new perspectives and open up meaningful conversations about your relationship. Look for recommendations on my site or explore topics that address your specific needs.
It's Not Me, It's You: Break the Blame Cycle. Relationship Better: By Jon Kim & Vannessa Bennet
Schedule Quality Time:
Finding time for intimacy and connection can be challenging as parents. However, it's essential to prioritize quality time with your partner. Set aside dedicated moments where you intentionally focus on each other. Consider removing distractions, such as screens and household chores, for a night and devote that time solely to nurturing your relationship. By creating this space, you can deepen your emotional bond and rekindle the romance.
Reflect on Relationship Patterns:
Take the opportunity to examine your own patterns of disconnect and emotional reactions within your relationship. Notice moments when you feel stressed, resentful, or overwhelmed. Reflect on these patterns and discuss them openly with your partner. By recognizing and sharing your feelings, you can better understand each other's triggers and work together to find solutions that strengthen your connection.
Regular Check-Ins:
Brene Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability and human connection, suggests implementing regular check-ins with your partner. Use a simple scale from 1 to 10 to express your current emotional state. This practice allows you to communicate your needs effectively. A "1" might indicate that you need help or support, while a "10" suggests that you have the energy and capacity to contribute more. By regularly checking in, you create an environment of open communication and support.
Maintaining a strong and loving relationship while parenting can be challenging, but it's essential for your well-being and the well-being of your family. By implementing the tips discussed above, you can create a deeper connection with your partner. Remember, you don't have to be a relationship expert to nurture your relationship. With patience, open communication, and a commitment to growth, you can continue to strengthen your bond amidst the beautiful chaos of parenthood.
Do you find yourself feeling resentful in maintaining a relationship while parenting? Working with a therapist can be TREMENDOUSLY helpful in learning where you stand on these topics such as patterns, love language, or attachment. Fill out our contact form if you’d like to begin therapy today to learn how to kickstart some of these processes.
